The first of May (also known as Mayday) rose up from the calendar and slapped me across the face.  Not literally of course.  I’m not quite that far gone!  But it did bring to my attention several things that I had been trying to avoid, put off and procrastinate into submission.  First, only 7 months until Christmas!  Okay, I’m kidding again.  But seriously folks, that first of May date is like a glowing beacon, reminding me that the extremely tenuous life balance I’ve been operating under is about to come crashing down around me.

Once you have children, and particularly children that are school age, the month of May becomes a marathon of field trips, graduation ceremonies, teacher appreciation events (why don’t they put that event in, like, February, when nothing else is going on - I mean REALLY!), end of school parties and award ceremonies.  My calendar, and yours I’m sure, looks like an unreadable scribble scrabbly mess of places I’m supposed to be, money I’m supposed to donate (don’t I pay taxes for all this crap?) and food I’m supposed to deliver in a timely manner for every manner of celebration.  My husband and I compare our calendars daily to ensure that one or the other of us can be at every event and that neither of our children are ignored or embarassed by us showing up in our pajamas at a function we had forgotten until the last minute.  It’s absolute madness and it is as predictable as the sun coming up each morning.  Parents should remember from year to year the craziness that is May and go into training for it about the first of March.  Parenting is always an endurance sport and that is never more true than during the month of May.  God help us all!

And at the end of the merry month of May?  Not the break that we all deserve just for surviving….oh no!  SUMMER!  The word that strikes fear into the hearts of all working parents.  Among the parents that I spend time with, there is currently no other topic of conversation but “What are you going to do with your kids this summer?”  All the good camps are full.  The grandparents are as heavily scheduled as they can possibly be.  And we’ve only worked out our child care plans through the 4th of July! 

Many of you that work outside the home may be green with envy of those of us that work from home.  But please let me assure you that the grass is not greener here either when it comes to a good case of the summertime blues.  You almost have to simply acquiesce that a) you will be only half as productive (and that’s if your lucky) as during the school year and that b) your children will insist that they NEVER get to do anything, that they are bored out of their minds and that summer sucks.  This will put your parent guilt into overdrive and your stress level out the roof and cause you to pray daily for school to start - SOON!

The good news?  August and September will roll around again.  Your kids will eventually have fond memories of your trips to the beach with your laptop and you allowing them to sleep till noon just so you can get some work done.  Other than that?  I am open to your suggestions.  PLEASE let me know how you survive the summer with your sanity intact!

We seekers tend to be a cerebral bunch.  We spend a lot of time reading, researching and pondering our place in the universe.  And that’s fine!  But I’ve recently started to wonder if living that life of the mind may come at the expense of other dimensions of our existence.

I recently made an appointment to see my family doctor.  I had a litany of complaints.  Fatigue, aches, depression….having watched Oprah I was, of course, convinced that I had some type of massive hormonal imbalance that would require biodentical hormone treatment and/or a complete lobotomy!  The doctor listened compassionately, ran a battery of tests (all of which came back perfectly normal) and then wrote me a prescription.  What was it for?  A miracle cure to be sure…..45 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity every day and three weight training workouts weekly. 

As any good patient would, I immediately began to “take my medicine” and within just a few days was feeling better than I’d felt in ages.

This experience left me pondering that ever elusive balance that we are all seeking.  We are searching for peace, happiness and fulfillment and as Seekers, we try to think our way through the mire.  However, in order to be truly balanced, we have to tend to our physical health as well.  We have to find a personal balance between our minds and our bodies - between work and play - between the spiritual and the tangible.  My prescription for you today?  Let your body get a workout and give your head a break.  When you return to your pondering about the meaning of life, you may find the answers are clearer than you thought.

I was just an infant when The Who first blasted out the song “The Seeker” in 1971.  Okay, I was a toddler if you want to get picky.  PLEASE don’t do the math!  The point is, no matter when it was written and first performed, the song could easily be the anthem of my life.  I was, am and will probably always remain a “seeker”.

I am always searching….searching for something that, to this point, has remained elusive.  Around every corner I assume there is a BBD (bigger, better deal).  That true happiness, satisfaction, contentment, will all be mine if I continue to try new things, never slow down, and basically work myself into a frazzle in an often purposeless pursuit of some ideal.  But the ideal what?  That’s the question I pose to you, my fellow seekers….what is it we’re seeking anyway?

As I mentioned, this “seek and ye shall find” mentality is an inherent part of my personality.  But I believe it has been exacerbated by both my life circumstances and my decision to become a stay at home mother after my first child was born.

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I admit it.  I’ve got a jealous streak.  I am jealous of other women.  Oh no, no, no , no…..don’t misunderstand me.  I’m not jealous of other women because my husband finds them attractive or anything like that.  I am blessed to enjoy my husband’s love and attention 100%.  And he mine.  No, my jealousy is much more insidious and probably quite personally destructive in the big scheme of things.  I am jealous of other women who seem to have solved the life/work balance puzzle.  Why (and how) have they found the answer while I still struggle?  What makes them different?  And what is wrong with me?

Take the little cul-de-sac on which I live, which I look at as a microcosm of society - sort of a Sim City, if you will.  We’ve got a plethora of lifestyles and workstyles represented here and I often find myself looking on in awe and wonder.  How did they figure it out?  Here’s a laundry list of some of the life/work balance arrangements that exist here:

• One woman is a dentist with a thriving practice.  She has three children (including a 9-month-old).  Her husband is a full-time stay-at-home-dad and is as happy as a clam!  He doesn’t seem riddled with any of the angst that most stay-at-home-moms I know contend with.  He just happily and without complaint cares for the children, does the laundry and grocery shopping, works in their yard (which is gorgeous!  Yet another reason to be jealous!) and embodies the “live in the moment” mantra that we are all advised to follow by every self help book and magazine article on the market.
• Another neighborhood mom is a mental health counselor who works part-time around her children’s schedule.
• And how bout this?  One friend of mine here in the ‘hood is a pediatrician who also works part-time.  Can you imagine not only working part-time in a lucrative field, but also never having to take your kids to the doctor?  How much time could you save?  How productive could you be?
• We have an artsy craftsy entrepreneur on the cul-de-sac as well.  She has turned making custom headbands into a thriving little business.  I love to get updates on the design of her website and upcoming craft festivals she is attending, but I stroll home gnashing my teeth wondering why I didn’t think of that.
• We also have a fitness professional mom.  Having her around serves a constant reminder that you shouldn’t be bringing the bags from Burger King into your house 5 days out of 7.  And most of the classes she teaches are at fitness facilities with in-house child care.  So her balance issue is solved!  Well, not exactly.  Her husband is a firefighter and is often working for days on end.  She raises her two girls largely alone,  which does serve to remind me that no matter how perfect ones life (or abs) may seem from the outside, everyone has issues.
• But the one situation that really amazes me is my neighbor who is a marketing executive for a major banking corporation.  She works from home four days a week amd goes into the office one day a week.  Wow!  What a gig!  She’s getting a whopper of a paycheck, profession fulfillment, continuing to prosper in her chosen field, and is still able to meet the kids when they get off the bus 4 afternoons out of 5.

So I look at these women and my “seeker” mentality goes into overdrive.  Where did I miss the boat?  Did I totally blow my opportunity at a wonderful, balanced life by not seeking a professional degree?  How was I unable to navigate my own successful career into an at-home or flex-time opportunity?  And of course, why didn’t I start making headbands?

I also wonder if perhaps these women look at me with envy?  Is that possible?  I have a terrific husband with a wonderful job that has provided me the opportunity to pursue any and all opportunities I desire as well as be home to raise my childrem.  I am an artist, a writer that works, more or less, when I want on what I want.  I answer to no one.  I’m free to dream and read and create.  Perhaps I am the lucky one!

The moral of the story?  There are many ways to pursue life/work balance.  None of them are perfect or without challenges and sacrifices.  So keep reminding your own green-eyed monster that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence.