I was just an infant when The Who first blasted out the song “The Seeker” in 1971.  Okay, I was a toddler if you want to get picky.  PLEASE don’t do the math!  The point is, no matter when it was written and first performed, the song could easily be the anthem of my life.  I was, am and will probably always remain a “seeker”.

I am always searching….searching for something that, to this point, has remained elusive.  Around every corner I assume there is a BBD (bigger, better deal).  That true happiness, satisfaction, contentment, will all be mine if I continue to try new things, never slow down, and basically work myself into a frazzle in an often purposeless pursuit of some ideal.  But the ideal what?  That’s the question I pose to you, my fellow seekers….what is it we’re seeking anyway?

As I mentioned, this “seek and ye shall find” mentality is an inherent part of my personality.  But I believe it has been exacerbated by both my life circumstances and my decision to become a stay at home mother after my first child was born.

Continue reading They Call Me the Seeker and I’m Turning to LifeWork Alliance to Seek Balance

I admit it.  I’ve got a jealous streak.  I am jealous of other women.  Oh no, no, no , no…..don’t misunderstand me.  I’m not jealous of other women because my husband finds them attractive or anything like that.  I am blessed to enjoy my husband’s love and attention 100%.  And he mine.  No, my jealousy is much more insidious and probably quite personally destructive in the big scheme of things.  I am jealous of other women who seem to have solved the life/work balance puzzle.  Why (and how) have they found the answer while I still struggle?  What makes them different?  And what is wrong with me?

Take the little cul-de-sac on which I live, which I look at as a microcosm of society - sort of a Sim City, if you will.  We’ve got a plethora of lifestyles and workstyles represented here and I often find myself looking on in awe and wonder.  How did they figure it out?  Here’s a laundry list of some of the life/work balance arrangements that exist here:

• One woman is a dentist with a thriving practice.  She has three children (including a 9-month-old).  Her husband is a full-time stay-at-home-dad and is as happy as a clam!  He doesn’t seem riddled with any of the angst that most stay-at-home-moms I know contend with.  He just happily and without complaint cares for the children, does the laundry and grocery shopping, works in their yard (which is gorgeous!  Yet another reason to be jealous!) and embodies the “live in the moment” mantra that we are all advised to follow by every self help book and magazine article on the market.
• Another neighborhood mom is a mental health counselor who works part-time around her children’s schedule.
• And how bout this?  One friend of mine here in the ‘hood is a pediatrician who also works part-time.  Can you imagine not only working part-time in a lucrative field, but also never having to take your kids to the doctor?  How much time could you save?  How productive could you be?
• We have an artsy craftsy entrepreneur on the cul-de-sac as well.  She has turned making custom headbands into a thriving little business.  I love to get updates on the design of her website and upcoming craft festivals she is attending, but I stroll home gnashing my teeth wondering why I didn’t think of that.
• We also have a fitness professional mom.  Having her around serves a constant reminder that you shouldn’t be bringing the bags from Burger King into your house 5 days out of 7.  And most of the classes she teaches are at fitness facilities with in-house child care.  So her balance issue is solved!  Well, not exactly.  Her husband is a firefighter and is often working for days on end.  She raises her two girls largely alone,  which does serve to remind me that no matter how perfect ones life (or abs) may seem from the outside, everyone has issues.
• But the one situation that really amazes me is my neighbor who is a marketing executive for a major banking corporation.  She works from home four days a week amd goes into the office one day a week.  Wow!  What a gig!  She’s getting a whopper of a paycheck, profession fulfillment, continuing to prosper in her chosen field, and is still able to meet the kids when they get off the bus 4 afternoons out of 5.

So I look at these women and my “seeker” mentality goes into overdrive.  Where did I miss the boat?  Did I totally blow my opportunity at a wonderful, balanced life by not seeking a professional degree?  How was I unable to navigate my own successful career into an at-home or flex-time opportunity?  And of course, why didn’t I start making headbands?

I also wonder if perhaps these women look at me with envy?  Is that possible?  I have a terrific husband with a wonderful job that has provided me the opportunity to pursue any and all opportunities I desire as well as be home to raise my childrem.  I am an artist, a writer that works, more or less, when I want on what I want.  I answer to no one.  I’m free to dream and read and create.  Perhaps I am the lucky one!

The moral of the story?  There are many ways to pursue life/work balance.  None of them are perfect or without challenges and sacrifices.  So keep reminding your own green-eyed monster that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence.