When I travel for work I find I am often caught in between guilty-pleasure and just plain guilt. Not because I do anything bad when I travel. There’s no “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” type of thing going on. No, what I find myself battling is the knowledge that I should use this time to my advantage - to write those reports and read those competitive summaries - but all I really want to so is have a glass of wine and completely zone out for the entire duration of the flight.

You know, that mental place where a millions thoughts may fly through your head, none of them amounting to much of anything. Or better yet, cast myself away in a daydream about being an Olympian (Don’t tell me you’ve never done the same. We’ve all seen Fletch and that’s exactly whey we find it so funny. The truth of the human insight connects with us immediately.)

I mean, how often do you ever get several hours, sometimes more, when no one can reach you? You should use this time to catch up, right?  Hmmm, not so sure. 

“Should” is a powerful word.  What we “should” do is always hanging over us. I could just as easily rationalize that I should do nothing. That I should watch a movie, or listen to music, or daydream, exactly because I never get any time to do these things at home. In the midst of the toddler-dom that reigns supreme over my house, I think the only book that I’ve managed to read in the past 3 years in its entirety is the final installment of Harry Potter. I haven’t seen a movie without pausing several times to get milk or juice, or help a child blow a nose in 4 and a half years.

Yet, trying to rationalize what I should do is never very satisfying, because it always has multiple, conflicting, possibilities as an answer.  I think it should be replaced with what I need. If I evaluate the situation based on what I need more, then the  answer is clearer. What I need is to clear my head. To relax. To rest. I need this more than I need to write that report. Believe me, if I needed to write the report, I would. If it was due tomorrow, or someone was relying on me to deliver a presentation on it when I landed, I would. But, they aren’t. And in order for me to write that report when I need to, and get milk for the loves of my life when I need to, it’s probably more important that I get some much-needed zoning out.

So, as much as I curse you, business travel - for the jet lag and the time away from my family - I also thank you - for a few hours that belong just to me.