I think part of the reason my friends refer to me as the one who does it all is that I can’t ever seem to sit still. There is no such thing as having nothing to do in my mind. And, to be honest, it’s not just about balancing work, kids and marriage. I think I was a juggler long before any of those factors ever entered in to my life. And, while I can attest to watching  a fair amount of TV in my youth I don’t recall, as an adult, ever being very good at sitting still. There was always something to do - run an errand, shop (even when I shouldn’t, but that’s another topic), clean, make something, do something, work more hours. It strikes me now that it may be more DNA than circumstance.

And, at it’s most fundamental level, it’s really all about forward progress. If you’re not doing, how can you get anywhere?

All of this has been to my own demise since having children. The sheer volume of business increases so much once you have children that the key to survival is know when to stop and what to prioritize. And, while I have gotten much better at determining what is really important (see my post on toxic friends as an example), my eyes are still always forward. My mantra may as well be “Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?” I joke about this statement with my friends sometimes, because I think my husband’s mantra would be “Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?” He has gotten much better about doing rather than waiting, but I’m not sure I have really gotten much better - beyond prioritizing better - at stopping and not doing everything this instant. And, as a result, I sometimes fail to see the moment. And, I sometimes fall down - hard. It’s also probably why my short-term memory is so bad (if you don’t stop to look, how can you see?). More importantly, it’s hard to find any satisfaction in what you are doing if you don’t actually stop and appreciate it, or even acknowledge it.

So, I have tried to become more mindful of stopping in addition to prioritizing. It’s easy to forget it, but when I do, I keep the following passage in my work bag to remind me…

“This moment right now is all that you ever really possess in life. If you sit and sincerely contemplate this, you will realize that you are never truly guaranteed the next moment. Your mind is determined to consistently place your attention deep within the past or into the future. Both of these (living in the moments of the past or dreaming of the moments of the future) are illusions that destroy the reality of the present. Detach yourself from the faulty guidance of your mind and simply allow yourself to be in the radiance of the Now. This is where living takes place; it does not exist anywhere but in the present.” ~ Richard Singer, Jr.

And I try to Stop. Breathe. Think. Look.

As I began to think about introducing myself to you, I thought mostly about the traditional definitions of a juggler. You know, the one who deftly keeps the balls in the air. Applied to people, it’s either used in the positive or the negative. “Man, how does she get it all done?! She juggles it all - motherhood, work, marriage” or “You dropped the ball on that one” (though the latter could just as easily be a football analogy, but you get the idea). But the real definition of a juggler isn’t quite so simple. And this is where it all begins.

First, I’ll tell you that the goal is indeed to keep the balls all in the air. Let’s just admit it from the start. I think I, like millions of others, have some closely-held believe that doing so will lead to “getting it right” which will lead to happiness. The math is kind of off, I agree, as happiness doesn’t rely on doing it all. In fact, my brain knows that happiness can come from doing nothing at all, or at the very least from doing less than I do now. But, the act of doing is also an act of control, and who doesn’t want to control their own happiness?

So, in a quest for happiness, I became the juggler. And people have often marveled at my ability to “do it all.” But as I said, nothing is that simple. And the real definition of a juggler made me both laugh and take note of who I am.

Juggler

1 a: one who performs tricks or acts of magic or deftness b: one skilled in keeping several objects in motion in the air at the same time by alternately tossing and catching them

2: one who manipulates especially in order to achieve a desired end

So, yes, that’s me. I am the juggler. But lest ye think I’m the perfect one, stay tuned and of course visit me often at www.lifeworkalliance.com